hate these decisions

this video explains an operation they want us to consider for Noah, my 5 year old with cerebral palsy...inshort, they cut his back open, pull a vertabre out, then pull out the nerves, test nerves to see which seem to cause the most spasticity, permanently cut those nerves, put them and bone back in...making these decisions kill me...then watching him suffer through is all with the uncertainty of "is this going to be worth it?"...the last few years have really been eating me alive